


Whispers

by agnes_grey



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Emotional, Friendship/Love, Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-11-03 21:31:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17885570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agnes_grey/pseuds/agnes_grey
Summary: “Hey Ash.” Eiji whispered, cautiously because he would not want Ash to wake up and see him in this state. It was as if the Universe had heard his prayers and so no reply was made and not even the cars outside were beeping. The wide-awoken boy snickered silently.Eiji let out his thoughts to the sleeping Ash Lynx.





	Whispers

Opening the bathroom door, Eiji stepped out of the steam and mist - the remainders of a hot shower. Dripping hair wrapped carelessly under a blue towel; clothes slightly wet due to the rushed dry of the body. After swiping his feet on a bathroom mat, he walked towards the couch located in their living room, where dimly lighted.

“Hey Ash, are you sleeping already?” he called out but there was no answer.

“Hey, at least sleep on the bed, will you?”

The curtains were close, quite redundant actually, because it was 11:30 pm and complete dark outside. The TV was on and the news program had long ended. The nightly sitcom was playing but it was far from what Ash would even consider watching. And of course, there’s no reason for him to be watching it tonight. The gang leader was slumping on the couch, deeply in sleep. He laid on his back:  legs outstretched, dangling but not touching the ground; one arm rested on the ground, still holding onto the remote control loosely while the other set on his tummy. It looked like the couch was too small for him after all. Eiji chuckled to himself when he found the boy. _When he’s asleep, he looks like a young boy of 17, like any other normal teenage boy would look._

The older boy (being older seemed to give him the responsibility of taking care of the youngers) reached for the remote control from the grasp of his hand and turned off the TV. The sudden lack of laugh tracks and comical sound effects pulled the room into a tranquility: a complete silence yet not quite. There were not any noises inside, where Eiji stood and Ash slept, however, occasionally, the beeping of car horns outside clearly penetrated the noise-proof glass. It was as if a reminder of a peace and serenity they had yet to have or perhaps, they would have but not together, and not at the same time.

Eiji stood still and possibly too still that one would think that the living room right then was another picture in Eiji’s collection (of his days with Ash and the gang) until they saw the droplets dripping down from his wet hair. **Plip.** And Eiji was woken up from the trance. He was looking at Ash: the blond soft strands that fluttered on his face, the closed eyelids where his eyes of jades were hidden under, the long silver eyelashes curled upwards and the pinkish lips that were sealed. All those features that Eiji found endearing. Ash was free and comfortable right then, at least at that moment, before he was pulled into another series of nightmares that would force him to have his eyes violently opened and hands dug under the seat cushion for a gun.

Eiji signed. He crouched down, facing the Ash’s profile and his ear, and gently whispered, “Ash, are you asleep already?”. There were no answer and Eiji smiled to himself. It seemed like the American boy had exhausted himself that day. The steady inhales and exhales were calming. Eiji sat down on the cold wooden floor, still next to Ash’s face. His hair had not dried, but the boy could not care less. Instead, he pulled his knees to his chest and rested his chin on them, admiring the person whom he cared so much for.

“Hey Ash.” Eiji whispered, cautiously because he would not want Ash to wake up and see him in this state. It was as if the Universe had heard his prayers and so no reply was made and not even the cars outside were beeping. The wide-awoken boy snickered silently. It reminded him of the time when he and his sister sneaked out to play when their mother was sleeping.

“Hey Ash.” He called out again, just to make sure, because he would not want Ash to hear what would come out next. He would not want Ash to know about these selfish thoughts. He could not let Ash do so. And because no answers were made, he continued.

“Hey Ash… please don’t die.” He whispered.

“You say that a lot these days, that you deserve to die and that you should, so that everything would end. You say that you are dirty, and you have sinned of murders and damages and prostitution. You say that you are broken, shattered into pieces, that you are a mess that cannot be fixed, that the only thing left to do is to be swept away. Like a glass figurine dropped on the ground.” Eiji stopped a while, before he could continue. His eyes were stinging. He reached out to brush a few blond strands away from the closed eyes but swiftly pulled his hand back when the job was done. Eiji took a breath in, before he could carry on.

“But Ash…” The name was pronounced lovingly. “If possible, I would like to see you live. Because you’re only 17 years old and there are so much you haven’t seen, so many people whom you have not met. You can call me naïve and tell me you’re smarter than I am all you want, but at least I know that a person can live up to 80 years old. That’s a long life a head of you, a life you will never get to enjoy if you go now.” The boy could feel his blinks quickened and nose twitched. He was finally able to let out what he thought, despite saying it to a sleeping figure. “It would be lonely, on the top of the snowy mountain, would it not?”

“But you don’t have to be there. You’re not a leopard, you’re a lynx, a strong lynx that can change his own future. And there would so much you would want to do, after all of this ends.” Eiji’s voice lightened up a bit with hope. It then faded as he was deep in thoughts again.

“You know, some time, I imagine how you would be like when you grow up, as an actual adult, Ash, because 17 years old is still too young. I imagine that you would like to become a writer, writing novels and stories about people and their strife in life; a professor teaching young minds and surprising them with your knowledge or a detective finding flaws and revealing hidden crimes. I imagine that you would find someone to love and how that person would love you back. Someone that takes your breath away and leaves you helplessly fallen in love. A girl, or a guy, who’s so charming to match your beauty and perhaps as equally witted as you are. May be then, you would learn to not be so cocky.” Eiji sneakered. “They would be someone who understands you, who’s kind and caring; someone who can lend you a shoulder to cry on, because I know you do cry Ash, because you’re human after all. And then you would fall deeper in love with that person and realize there’s meaning in life; and I promise you, you would not regret living.”

 Eiji squirmed a bit and stretched his arms over his head. It was an act to show that he was fine. But he sniffled. His whispers were distorted slightly. The soft voice struggled to come out. “And you know, I would be happy, if you could let me continue to stay by your side. Forever we did say, didn’t we?...  I would be happy to see you venture and to find trust and love in a world that once betrayed you. I would be really happy to see you happy, Ash.”  There was yet a sound because Eiji managed to stifle it while his blue pajama pants were soaked quickly.  

“They did say love makes you soft and stupid…. So I guess I’m the idiot after all.” Eiji muttered, after calming himself down. “That’s why Ash, please keep living. I promise you, it would be so worth it. Promise me you would continue to live, okay?” The Japanese boy raised his pinky finger and looked at it. “P-promise me, okay?” he stuttered. The clothes on his knees were drenched as he buried his eyes into them. The room remained quiet. The sitting boy would shudder on rhythm as he tried his best to muffle the hiccups. Meanwhile, the rise and fall of Ash’s chest seemed to be complimenting the tempo. It went on longer for a bit but was interrupted by a horn outside, then a yell, followed by continuous barking of dogs. Eiji panicked and lifted his head to look at Ash. The American boy stirred a bit to scratch his chin before setting his hand on his tummy again. He was trained to be sensitive to noises after all. Eiji let out a sign. That was close.

And so the older one stood up, glanced at the figure on the couch one last time in that night and walked to their bed room. The wooden floor creaked once. The hour-hand moved to 12 and silence echoed throughout the apartment as if a magic spell was broken.

**-**

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**Plip**

It was the sound of water droplets, but not from the Japanese boy’s hair or his eyes. It was the droplets that dropped from the silver eyelashes.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this little work of mine. Feedbacks are always welcomed <3 Please forgive any spelling or grammar mistakes made. I was quite emotional when writing this ~~~


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